December 5, 2008 at 5:24 pm

i have been caring for a parent for alittle over a year. she does’t live with me but stays with me for about 10 hours a day (at night she lives in her house with a sibling that also lives there.) this was supposed to be only until we could find someone to stay with her.i have 3 siblings all of which work out of the home,i used to work from the home until she started staying with me.once i started taking care of her i was unable to put in my hours so i lost my job. once i saw a couple of months had passed i asked what was going on with getting help for mom. i tried to explain that i also need to be working and have bills the same as they do. i also have young children to care for as well. each time i ve brought it up ive been basically passified and assured that it wont be much longer. well it over a year and no changes to this “temporary” arrangement yet. this situation is causing me alot of fiancial grief. i ve accumulated alot of debt in this last year because i dont have the money from my job.the stress of her care and my fiances is destroying my family. i love my mom but i feel there are 4 of us and it not fair. any answers would be appreciated.

January 1, 2009 at 6:53 pm

Hey, this may or may not help. Does you mother have an income? It seems to me you should be being paid as her caregiver. Think about it. If someone else were doing what you are doing what would they be earning? It’s not a question of doing it for the money, that should be obvious, you’ve done it up until now. If your mother has a saving account, it seems to me you are deserving of back pay. If your family appreciates what you are doing and the fact they are not having to do it for what ever reason, it should make it easier for them to agree with this. Hope you don’t take this as insulting, I’m trying to help you with some very practical advise. Best wishes. Veda