• September 9, 2009 at 10:15 pm

    I fear I’m Im going to go to jail because of here. I fear constantly I won’t be able to retire my financial problems are getting worse. Who else are getting stressed like this?

  • September 12, 2009 at 1:57 am

    None of us asked for this job. We took it on when we took our marriage vows “for better or for worse”. We never dreamed ‘for worse’ would be Alzheimer.

    If you are in such a state of anxiety, you need someone who can help you change your thinking. Some Insurance covers Anxiety Counseling. (Medicare does) It sounds like you aren’t old enough for Medicare, so you’ll need to check with your Insurance Company to find out what they cover and what your co-pay would be.

    If you have relatives, turn to them for advice, support and help. If you belong to a Church, your Pastor would be an excellent counselor or at least refer you to a Support Group, or some member of the church who has been through this.

    You can’t go through this alone. Get some help. I hope you find help here on the forum. Pray to God that He provide you with someone who can walk this journey with you as a loyal friend.
    Wishing you better days ahead.

  • September 13, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    Yes, you feel like packing a bag and getting in the car to drive off sometimes. This is when you need some help as ‘clinmar’ recommends.Try to be on the ‘chat’ here too if possible as there is good support and friendly people who know just how it feels. A friend of mine had a ‘blowup’ chair and hammer – she would attack the chair with the ‘blowup’ hammer (out of sight) when she felt really angry – effective as a temporary measure! Do keep in touch. Love and Hugs Freda

  • September 16, 2009 at 7:58 am

    Hi Tamron,
    We all get angry at times, sometimes it is worse than others. I get angry when I have to tell my husband every minute or two exactly the same thing and it goes on and on and I think I can’t stand this anymore. Then I calm down and think I know he can’t help it and it is me that has to change not him. But it is a vicious circle really, I am trying to get my husband to go to Day Care but he absolutely refuses because, “he wants to be here with me” how can I tell him I don’t really want him here all the time, that I would like and need a break. Then we get into bed at night and he says ‘I really love you” it is heartbreaking.
    I also get angry with myself because I really thought I would cope better than I am.
    So just remember we all get angry, we are not saints, so don’t beat yourself up.
    Financially we are not as well off as we were but then I think of all the people who have lost their money in the financial collapse so think maybe we are not alone in that.
    Why would you have to go to jail, do you not have any sort of health system where you are that can help you?

    Take Care, Jocelyn

  • September 22, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    Anger can be toxic. Reach out locally for support. In too many situations, Alzheimer’s claims more than one victim. Don’t let this monster claim another victim. Keep your sanity and your health as an important priority.

    Good luck

  • September 27, 2009 at 5:18 am

    Hi Jocelyn,
    When I read your post, it sounded a lot like my position. My husband has Alz. and like you I get angry with him when I shouldn’t, and then I feel so guilty. I feel our husband/wife relationship is going and I am more like his mother than his wife. He can’t do anything very much for himself, and has become “my shadow”, can’t think for himself and all decisions etc. have to be made by me. I am 70 years old and sometimes feel that the rest of my life will have to be spent looking after him, and when that has ended I will be too old to have any life left. I don’t begrudge him my care, as when I married him it was for better or worse, but perhaps I didn’t know how worse !!He is my second husband, we had both been married before.Cheers to all care givers out there.

  • September 27, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Hi Folks – 😀

    Anger ah yes Anger…how well I know! Never forget tamron…it’s the disease, it’s not them. I would get so angry and frustrated…we had an overstuffed recliner chair. It was in the living room, out of sight from her when she was in the bedroom. I would beat the hell out of that chair cushion with all my might. (I was angry not stupid) After the adrenalin and anger subsided I would calmly approach my sweetie once again and we would work out whatever the problem was. This worked for me.


  • December 9, 2009 at 7:08 am

    I someimes worry that I get angry because I say things I don’t mean. Lucky for me is that My husband doesn’t remember after a few minutes.
    He gets angry when I try to get him to change Clothes ect , I usually change them when he isn’t looking,but sometimes like today I wanted to put them in the wash and he had them on before I could change them, he blew up and so did I, he had forgotten it a few minutes later but I was upset for ages. He gets angry with me for things that he imagines, such as ‘he said I had given our Car away, I showed him that the car was still there and smoothed it over, but then at 1am he woke me and accused me again, so I took him to the Garage to show him the car, it is so frustrating at times. But it isn’t his fault.