My Mother has dementia…my Brother ( bipolar, who lived with her ) is now in ICU with a ventilator due to not taking care of himself, gaining 100 lbs, pneumonia, oxygen issues…you can see where this is going. My Mother has always babied him , citing that he has ” a condition” and has never expected anything of him except to take care of her as she aged. Well, he’s now in the ICU and she wantes tp call them & have them “let him go” because she doeasn’t think he’ll be the same person when he finally gets out ( maybe 2 – 3 weeks ). Since she’s his legal guardian I’m freaked out that she would want this…even though I know she’s pretty nutty. So, what to do? I’ve tried to reason with her, explain th situation, etc but she wants to talk to the Dr.s about him. My respons: well, there’s the phone or, call a taxi….has anyone been thru anything like this? I’ really need some help. I’m the only othr child and it’s all falling into my lap…Many thanks.
Yes. A dementia patient should not have the say over anyone’s life or death decisions…in my opinion.They are losing the ability to reason so why have them in charge of the reasoning of life and death?
Someone needs to have the medical power of attorney for your Mom as well as your brother.Check it out.
If you ever had an attorney friend, now’s the time to call them. If not, reach out to your human services department or social services department at the county or any local support group for Alzheimer’s. You may wind up making all the decisions but coming here and asking tells me you are likely up to the task once you form a support group.
Just remember, in many situations like this the answers are often quite simple.. just not easy.
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