Hello everyone, my name is Lori, and my mother has had AD for quite some time now. I stumbled onto this site while googling for activities appropriate and hopefully helpful for my mom. I’ve never seen a site like this one, so I am here in hopes of gaining knowledge and insight.
My mom is 83 yrs. old, still lives at home with my dad (87 yrs old). They have been married for 66 yrs. My dad is still totally independent, really he is absolutely amazing! But caring for mom is taking it’s toll on him. 2 of my siblings stay in the evenings with them, help to settle her into bedtime, which is becoming very difficult as she now has sundowners. I travel down as frequently as I can, for long weekends and a week at a time every few months as my work allows me to.
I have spent the last hour or so reading many posts here in the forum. And I find our difficulties with mom are much the same as many others. Mom has episodes (for lack of a better word) of becoming very agitated and angry, she may think her children ( 5 of us all grown with kids and grandchildren) are not home yet, and she will cry and cry approaching hysteria thinking someone has taken her children and want my dad to go looking for them. Her other frequent scenario is wanting to go home….where she grew up, wanting to see her mother (passed away yrs ago), and went so far as to put her clothes in a laundry basket, her purse on top last night and announce she was going home. The most devastating to my dad is when she doesn’t know who he is, and will inform him that her husband is dead. Most of the time dad is just Bob…the person that takes care of her. Other times she will cry and weep for him, and nothing convinces her that he is her husband….we’ve tried showing her pictures, etc. Every night she will ask him at least 20 or more times….” I live here? This is my home? Where do I sleep? You live here? You won’t leave? You’ll watch over me?”…every single night, repetitively.
She still ambulates well, dresses herself fairly well…but some days may change her clothes or pajamas 10 times. She needs assistance with personal care. She eats whatever you set in front of her, but rarely voices dislikes or likes anymore. She talks almost constantly. When she gets quiet….usually some type of anger or high confusion follows. As I’ve read, there is no rationalization, some times even trying to divert her attention, or change of subject doesn’t work. She is on ativan, but I don’t see that it helps much to calm these episodes.
As I said, evenings are the worse now. My sister is talking to the doctor tomorrow, in hopes of trying a sleep aide, or at least some another avenue in helping with what we have been calling her ‘other’ personality…ie sundowners.
I look forward to more reading, and meeting some of you wonderful people.
Take care and God Bless.
I know this is a late response, but i just went through a similar scenario with my mom with regard to being up at night. She was orginally on Rozerem, but was switched to Ambian and this seems to work. at the same time she was put on Ativan, the Ativan works for her, calms her down.
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