Some useful information can be found here at the KnowitAlz website:
Yes very informative website.I have one resident that would start sundowning everyday at around the same time and there was no talking to her.She needed to get home and take care of her mother,who was bed ridden.Therefore she could not go to bed and would stay up all night complaining about needing to get home.After learning about being over tired causing the sundowning I would ask her before she got so tired”How is your mother?” If not too tired She would respond with “Oh,My mother has been dead for years.”I would say”Oh I am sorry,Would you like to go to bed and get a good night sleep?”Which she always replied “Boy,Would I!”To me that is what this website and the others are all about, learning how to take better care of those with Alzheimer’s.Thank you Mary and Kathy I appreciate the HELP!
This has been helpful. Every evening at sundown my paitent quite suddenly perks up and announces: right, let’s go home. A lengthy discussion follows as we try to establish where home is and eventually concluding that we are in fact at home in our own house. But I never quite get to the end of the discussion as if I push it too hard there is still another home where we really live and it belongs to a colleague whose wife has died…… and I have no idea where this comes from as it has no basis in fact……….
My Mom has the same thing Tony36! I cannot believe I found someone else who has someone saying the same things. My Mom thinks that when she goes to lunch or dinner which is down the hall and around the corner in the nursing home that she has been taken out and left in another place. She wants to go to her other room or say she wants to go home. I am afraid to take her out for an outing because she want to visit her parents who have been gone for 60 some years! I am not sure if I sould go along with her or just take a pic of their headstones for her to see. Some background – last year she was in hospital for 4 days and did the same thing. She thought she was at the ocean in a hotel not the hospital She even thought some people who had passed where still alive. She came home after having her meds adjusted – 2 were too strong and discontinued. She was home and still thought she had been at the ocean, I had had a baby and that some people were still alive. She even did not know my Dad who she lives with. She finally would remember things – like when she would say someone was alive who were gone I could remind her of their passing or give her a hint and she would say that is right they are gone. Well this year she was in hospital for 30 days – had a colonostmy and is now in a nursing home since April. Any suggestions on what I could do to help her?
BKrause—I hate to be the bearer of bad news…but…There is probably not a whole lot that you can do to help your mother except to visit her frequently and attempt to make her life as comfortable as possible.
When dealing with A/D being right is not as important as being kind. If you were having your meds adjusted wouldn’t you rather believe that you were at an ocean resort? Does it actually make any difference?
You might consider attempting to make things easier for both of you by not reminding her that people have died and definitely not taking pictures of headstones. The news will probably only make her feel bad and if she has A/D is likely to be forgotten.
When she asks for someone who has “gone”, tell her a white lie…Mom sends her love and does not want you to worry…but she is very busy. If you just can’t tell a fib and believe in after-life, you can try something like: Mom can’t visit right now. She is in a wonderful place and is waiting to have us join her when the right time comes. We are going to have to be patient.
bkrause, yes, it is helpful just to hear of others having similar problem. It does not change anything but I guess we feel less isolated and alone.
Change of location and/or changes in medication are always likely to cause problems. In fact I have had to take my wife off several meds when I finally spotted they were the cause of her problems (mainly anger). The latest change from an upstairs bedroom to a downstairs room due to a lung problem has probably caused some of her confusion.
Skericheri has a point in saying that we just have to make life as comfortable as possible. Arguing, disagreeing, correcting, logic do not appear to be helpful. Many times a simple change of subject can be far more effective. Since communication is difficult the non verbal communication appears to be more useful; hug, rubbing the hand, smile, just a kindly look and anything else is worth a try. Having said this I have spent a half hour each night pointing out all the familiar things in this room to convince her that this is our house. It just may have paid off last night as she settled down easily for once – but she did say we would go home tomorrow……. ah, you just cannot win…….
But, Love will find a way.
Right on Tony36 and skeircheri I have found that LOVE is one of the most effective “medications.” Especially in mood change management. And just this morning I was asked “Where are my parents?” They passed away many years ago. “Why did they do that?” God wanted them to be with Him. They are in a good place now waiting for us. “Will we have to do that?” Yes, probably some day but it will be good. “OK.” (This after we introduced ourselves once more.)
Touching is good, holding hands, stroking, kissing, hair-combing, rubbing lotion. Any tactile form of endearment can help keep someone feeling safe, secure and happy.
Thanks all for the info. I was aways Sat and most of today. I left Fri night and my Mom calls and is her old self and wants me to visit. I am not home at this point and plan to visit Sun (tonight). Sat she is her old self. Tonight she thinks she is in another place. All of this is so sad to me. The home she is in is filled with such sadness.
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