• May 4, 2010 at 10:11 pm

    Do you find yourself just wanting to throw a tantrum?? Clench your fists and stomp your feet and just scream?? I do….far too often. It’s not the stress of caring for my parents, or the insecurity of never knowing if I’m really doing the right things. Or never knowing what is really best for them and constantly feeling that I’m falling short of the mark and am not doing enough.

    My tantrum is based on the fact that I WANT to be able to go to my Dad for car advice: why is it making that noise? does this need to be fixed? should I buy this car? is the mechanic cheating me? I DON’T want to have to hide the car keys on Dad because once he figures out how to open the door and start the car, he can’t remember what to do next as the car is rolling backwards out of the driveway.

    I WANT to be able to ask Mom to cook me one of her famous apple pies or home made lasagna and know I’ll be eating it fresh out of the oven. I DON’T want to have to remind her that the apples have to be pealed first or how to turn the oven on. I WANT to ask Mom the best way to get a stain out of something. I DON’T want to find the dirty clothes in the dishwasher.

    I WANT to be able to share with them funny stories about work or my son and know that they’ll find the same appreciation in the stories that I do. I DON’T want to have to explain it all 16 times until that vacant look is gone from their eyes.

    And I do NOT absolutely, without a doubt, EVER want to see that look of confused, frightened, hurt that is in their eyes far too often.

    I know…..life is life…….and this is their life and I want to make it as good as I possibly can for them. But sometimes a tantrum just helps. 🙂

  • May 8, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    🙄 …You sure are right about tantrums do help. Let it all out and continue on. You are a loving and caring daughter. May your strength in comapssion keep you going. I know you are doing everything you can to make life comfortable for your parents. God Bless.

    Hugs,
    Sandy

  • May 8, 2010 at 11:51 pm

    Thank you, Sandy. I really helps to hear that.